We all have them right?! Those conversations that we perceive may be a little challenging to have. It might be the feedback that we worried about giving or maybe where a misalignment of expectations has occurred.
Whilst these conversations can feel a little uncomfortable, they serve as an opportunity to deepen trust, demonstrate transparency and ensure everyone is on the same page.
- Create the right conditions for these conversations
Speak to your team and gain their view on how you navigate conversations like this together. The acceptance that challenging conversations sometimes arise helps create the space for these conversations to happen as well as agreeing now these conversations need to be tackled creates engagement from the team.
- Focus on the positive outcome
Get really clear on the outcome you are looking to achieve from the conversation and why this is important. We can sometimes get too bogged down in how we might tackle the conversation and forget to focus on the outcome. Consider sharing at the start of the meeting what you are looking to achieve.
- Be clear and direct
Being specific and clear is one of the most important factors of the challenging conversation. If the team member can’t connect with the feedback as its too general, it is going to be hard for them to grasp the points you are looking to make.
- Keep your language and energy neutral
Conversations that are filled with emotional language and assumptions can create defensiveness. Keeping your language clear and neutral is key. In addition, tap into your own emotions before the conversation as if you are feeling heightened, the conversation is likely to match which, if we want to get the best out of the conversation, we need to stay calm.
- Acknowledge the conversation feels tricky!
Being open, honest and authentic in the moment can really help. Consider using phrases like; “I am finding having this conversation tricky and that is probably because I really want to make sure I get it right” – it shows the other person that you are giving real care and attention to how this conversation goes.
- Make it a dialogue, not a monologue
Engaging the team member in the conversation by getting their view, perspective, insights and crucially their ideas on how we can move things forward ensures that the conversation is not ‘done to’ our team members but ‘done with’.
- Agree a way forward
Going back to the outcome of the conversation, agreeing a way forward and specific action that both parties will take away is key in making this conversation stick.
